Life?

Some times I can get so confused about life. What's the purpose of living, if we're going to die anyway?

I won't say I'm an optimistic person, because I am not one at all but to have come this far in life despite re-considering life so many times, I really think I've done a good job. I hope I'm not a fool of the Earth's hands.

There's a saying that suggests everyone will find meaning in life. I'm still 18 years old and people may tell me I'm young but if that's so why do I feel so old? Why do I feel like I've wasted the past 18 years of my life? I'm impatient by nature and I can't wait any more for this, where's my meaning in life?

I might spend some of my days doing things that I like but what's that short-term satisfaction? How long can happiness last me? One second? Or maybe at most a day. But that's it.

Give me meaning in life.