Sunday, April 29, 2012


Some times I can get so confused about life. What's the purpose of living, if we're going to die anyway?

I won't say I'm an optimistic person, because I am not one at all but to have come this far in life despite re-considering life so many times, I really think I've done a good job. I hope I'm not a fool of the Earth's hands.

There's a saying that suggests everyone will find meaning in life. I'm still 18 years old and people may tell me I'm young but if that's so why do I feel so old? Why do I feel like I've wasted the past 18 years of my life? I'm impatient by nature and I can't wait any more for this, where's my meaning in life?

I might spend some of my days doing things that I like but what's that short-term satisfaction? How long can happiness last me? One second? Or maybe at most a day. But that's it.

Give me meaning in life.

Friday, April 13, 2012


For the past few weeks, possibly months, I've been very depressed and that kind of stuff.
I think I'm someone who doesn't express my problems very much.
I try to express my emotions as much as possible, because I believe that it's being truthful to one's inner self, and self-expression is an art too. I like being artsy and I like to appear sophisticated and educated. But I always smile, even if I don't understand what's happening, like I'm an idiot. But then again I guess that's artsy too.
Or maybe I'm having problems at home, and when I go out I forget all about these problems, then when I'm at home I start to cry again. That kind of thing.
Time will heal all wounds, as the saying goes.
But it's not only time, it's having a lot of friends. Then even if I'm at home, I'll forget about certain things, even if it's only a short period of time.

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me. I don't really tell people my problems unless I'm on the verge of falling into total pessimism and seeing everything makes me wants to cry and nothing cheers me up, not even ice cream. And I guess these friends don't really know that what's flowing through my mind, although the pessimistic side of me appears once in a while, I guess they'll catch a glimpse of my melancholy.
And every time someone catches that rare sight and ask me what's wrong, I'll most likely burst into tears. I would most likely not say anything, but crying on a shoulder is very comforting, and I guess it reduces depression up to 50%. Okay maybe not 50% that's a personal estimation. Then when I stop crying and try to say what's wrong I'll start crying again. But crying on a shoulder reduces depression up to 50% so it's okay.
I'll be there for you when I can, and I'll try to help in whatever way I can as they have been there for me.
I'm not the type that can talk mushy upfront to a person, so I hope everyone who has been there for me will be able to read this.
♥ you guys!

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Weight Loss Diary

I'm a very boring person and I haven't been blogging very often lately, because I have nothing to blog about.

Heh heh heh.

Anyway within the entire month of March, I lost a total of 6kgs. It was the result of hard work and resistance to temptations to delicious food.
Okay, the second part is a bit of a lie.
Every time I have my PMS, I will start craving for a lot of food. And most of the time what I crave for is fries and potato chips and things like that.
The only good thing about PMS is that I won't put on weight heheheheh.